Post by The Cult Of Destruction on Sept 15, 2012 1:37:20 GMT -6
Sometimes in life, smart people make stupid decisions. I feel like I am one of those people right now, as I have been biting my tongue on some seriously obnoxious issues for WAY too long. I have allowed people from both sides of my wrestling family to say and do things that they have had NO business doing, and it's time I told them so. This has literally been months in the making, so it should be interesting to say the least. Furthermore, I have a match from each family to discuss, since this will be posted on both AW and OW's official websites. These are things I've needed to get off of my chest for months now. I'm tired of waking up in the middle of the night to put holes in my bedroom wall thinking about this shit. So with that in mind, The Cult of Destruction and The Evolution of Perfection proudly present, Jeff Jackson: No More Bullshit.
Fade in: The old stone office/trophy room of "The Extreme Legend" Jeff Jackson. He looks much different than the last time we saw him in AW. He has his hair cut short again, and his goatee has fully returned. In fact, he is now completely bald. He is standing in front of a banner that he's hung along the far wall. It has two logos on it. The left logo is from AW, and the right from OW. It is clear that whatever is on this man's mind, it not only involves both companies, but has him FUMING. He is pacing back and forth like a mad man, a fire raging in his eyes. He keeps pacing, but lifts his eyes to burn holes through the lens of the camera. Even as intense as Jeff usually is, this is a new place for him...and it doesn't look like a pleasant one. While still pacing and glaring into the camera with all of the rage and intensity of a thousand battles, he speaks for the first time.
"This has been a long time coming, so let's get right down to business. Six months ago, AW looked like it was dead. Rising from the ashes of AW came Odyssey Wrestling. I was asked to sign on there, but chose to give the spot to my protege, Big Daddy P. I felt it was time for him to make his mark in his home country, and that the experience he would gain there would be beneficial to his long term goals. However, I told him that at a moment's notice, I would be there to watch his back. He went through a rough patch and missed some dates, which led to him taking a leave of absense. That said, he was still keeping an eye on things for his inevitable return. On July 23rd, my phone rang. It was Big Daddy P, informing me that Spaz was leaving OW citing 'no competition' as his excuse for hightailing it out of town. In an attempt to help OW, I donned my old skull mask, and sent messages to the so called 'Misfit'. However, he proved what a yellow bellied douchebag he is and ignored them all."
"From there, P and I began to formulate our plans for how to bring OW back to where it should have always been. This past week at Lord Of The Ring, we put that plan into effect. The Cult Of Destruction was born, and a new era has commenced in Odyssey Wrestling. However, that is another topic for a later time. Back to the topic I brought you here to discuss. AW started up again shortly after, and a war of words and border jumping has been going on ever since. AW guys joining OW, then jumping back to AW because they don't get their way. It's a bunch of childish bullshit and I've fucking had enough! So with that in mind, I am here today to not only discuss the two matches I have coming up, but to FINALLY say my piece on this LUDICROUS behavior. Some of the men and women involved I once had respect for, some I never liked. Either way, they're all on my shit list as of this moment. As far as I'm concerned, they can all take a long walk off of a short pier, because nobody would fucking miss them anyway."
"Spaz, since I already mentioned you earlier, allow me to elaborate. I have hated your fucking guts since the first time I saw you. From day one, you have been nothing more than a pathetic excuse for James Caine and Jeff Jackson. You like to think of yourself as the lunatic, or the 'Misfit' as it were. What you really are is an overhyped, underwhelming sack of SHIT! If I woke up in the morning and realized I were you, I'd fucking kill myself! You are everything that is WRONG with professional wrestling. You've been handed EVERYTHING, and earned NOTHING! You couldn't hack it in Anarchy Wrestling; so to make you feel special, they created an entire championship and 'level' for you to be handed. Of course you needed a patsy to lay down for you, so Mesterio 'Call Me Hayden, Never Mind Call Me Mesterio' Raine was put in there to play dead. I suppose it makes sense, he does a great job at it. Nevertheless, you know as well as I do that you never have, and you never WILL get in the ring with me. Why? Because if you do you'll flop faster than a hand of Texas Hold 'Em."
"Which brings me to my next discussion piece, Mesterio Raine, aka 'I Win Titles On A Technicality' himself. Do you understand that the only reason you won the AW Heavyweight Championship is because I felt sorry for you? If not, now you do. I felt bad that you wanted to live in my shadow so badly you didn't even have one of your own, so I agreed to roll over like you did for Spaz. Do you honestly think if I gave a fuck about that match, that you would've done anything other than get your ass whipped? If you do, then you're even more delusional and insane than everyone thinks you are. Let's be honest here Misty, shall we? Every time you've ever won a match against me, it was because of politics. See you and Spaz, for all of your supposedly 'epic' feuds are actually one and the same. Neither one of you is worth shit between those ropes, so you politic your way to what you want. If that doesn't work, you both proceed to piss and moan until you get it. If THAT fails, then you just flat out run away. Congratulations, you finally have my REAL attention, and it comes in the form of my foot in your ass!"
"Are you folks noticing a trend here yet? I'm dealing with the border jumping, shit talking, should have been mattress stains first. Why? Because they are the primary cause of my hatred of anyone and everyone right now. If they had just done what they were supposed to do, none of this would have needed to happen. What is it they were supposed to do you ask? It's very simple actually. They were supposed to shut the fuck up and wrestle! But no, they just HAD to bury anyone and everyone they could to try pimp themselves out as the best thing going today. Well I'm here to tell them and everyone else that thinks they're king or queen shit to fuck off and die. There is only ONE best wrestler in A-Dub OR O-Dub, and you're looking at him right now! I have been the go to guy in Anarchy Wrestling since the day EWA first opened for god sake! Every time they need that special element on a make or break show, they call me up. Hell, they even got Jon Tees to drag me out of retirement to save their relaunch!"
"Which brings me to the current face of Anarchy Wrestling. Well, I think that technically belongs to someone else, but I'm not sure. At any rate, I'm talking about the Anarchy Wrestling 'World Championship'. Personally, I like to call it the Silver Platter Championship in honor of its first champion, but I digress. Louis Anthony, another wonderful piece of shit. This man just doesn't know when to leave well enough alone does he? Walking around acting like he's actually someone anyone gives a flying fuck about. Congratulations, you hold the paper weight that people who can't win the big one claim IS the big one. But I have to give you some credit, you HAVE held the REAL AW World Championship as well...good for you. That said, I am wondering just what you would do if I decided to MAKE the phony World Title something worth having. Most likely, you'd run to whatever slut you're nailing this week and sob like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. That's fine with me, because I AM coming for your pretend championship. Not because I even really want it, but just because I want to take it from you."
"Some people are probably wondering why I'm not saying anything to any OW people. right? Well it's simple really. The shit talkers involved, or the main ones at least, are the people mentioned above. More specifically, the two border jumpers who couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag if the bag was cut for them. With that in mind, I DO have a message for Odyssey Wrestling. Your single biggest mistake wasn't in trusting people who can't be trusted. It wasn't even in rewarding them with titles and title shots they didn't earn. Your single biggest mistake was letting me into your company. Not because I don't put asses in the seats, because I do it better than anyone else on EITHER roster. The reason it's a mistake is because when I'm done stomping ass in OW, there won't BE a roster! I'm going on a hunt in BOTH companies. One by one, I'm taking out each and every person put in front of me, until you ALL realize who the best wrestler in this war is. It's not Louis Anthony, it's not Tumbler, and it sure as FUCK isn't Spaz or Mesterio Raine. To find the best, look no further than this guy right here."
"In that vein, I have two matches to discuss at this time. I will cover the AW match first, since it's the more biased and lop sided of the two. I have been put into a two on one handicap match against The Tiger Family. I'm not going to lie to you folks. I have NO idea who these twits are, nor do I care to. All I need to know is that they are two assholes standing between me and EITHER version of the AW World Championship. Do you know what that makes them? The two most unlucky people in Anarchy Wrestling. I am going to go out there and prove to the world that I can do alone what two people can't do together...win. There's a up and coming wrestler in the big leagues right now that has a catchphrase I need to borrow. You see, much like that young man, I am going to make a simple request. Feed...me...more. I don't care if it's more in number, or in stature, but give me someone or someones who actually matter to someone please. I've tried really hard to not be this arrogant in the past, but fuck it. I'm the best AW's got, and I know it."
"Tiger Family, prepare for suffering the likes of which you've never imagined. I am going to put you two through the ringer, and quickly. I'm going out to that ring with one goal...total domination. I'm going to do things to you that *I* can't even fathom right now. It will be sick, it will be twisted, but it won't be extreme. In fact, I'm going to use nothing more than my bare hands to do what I intend to do. Barbed wire and fire can be fun, but feeling bones snap and tendons tear in your very hands is why I got in this business. I have waited a long time to get a straight up wrestling match again. Now that I have one, I'm going to remind everyone why I can claim to be the best damn technical wrestler on the planet. Bone by bone, tendon by tendon, I'm going to tear you apart. I am going to leave you laying in a pair of decimated heaps of flesh. Viewers, if you have young children or are weak of heart, don't watch my match this week...you've been warned."
"Now on the Odyssey Wrestling side of things, I am making my official debut. I am in a match against an ACTUAL newcomer to OW, Frost. Wow, that's original. Anyway, I'm not here to nitpick about his name, although I certainly could. I'm here to tell him EXACTLY what is going to happen to him. Did you hear that, Schwarzenegger? That means sit down, shut up, and listen to what I have to say. You are going to receive a very similar fate to the Tiger Family, only you get to have the whole destruction to yourself. Congratulations, you're in even deeper shit than they are, provided that it's in fact possible. As soon as I hear that bell ring, I am going to beat you from pillar to post and back to pillar. I am going to establish myself as the Zeus of Odyssey Wrestling. You are the first step on my path to the OW World Championship. May God have mercy on you, because I can tell you I won't!"
"In closing, let me put it this way. The Cult of Destruction and quite possible The Evolution of Perfection are about to take over professional wrestling. OW has a sickness, The Cult has the cure. AW, Evolution is about to pass you by. So it has been written, so it shall come to pass. Quoth The Killer...nevermore."
Fade in: The old stone office/trophy room of "The Extreme Legend" Jeff Jackson. He looks much different than the last time we saw him in AW. He has his hair cut short again, and his goatee has fully returned. In fact, he is now completely bald. He is standing in front of a banner that he's hung along the far wall. It has two logos on it. The left logo is from AW, and the right from OW. It is clear that whatever is on this man's mind, it not only involves both companies, but has him FUMING. He is pacing back and forth like a mad man, a fire raging in his eyes. He keeps pacing, but lifts his eyes to burn holes through the lens of the camera. Even as intense as Jeff usually is, this is a new place for him...and it doesn't look like a pleasant one. While still pacing and glaring into the camera with all of the rage and intensity of a thousand battles, he speaks for the first time.
"This has been a long time coming, so let's get right down to business. Six months ago, AW looked like it was dead. Rising from the ashes of AW came Odyssey Wrestling. I was asked to sign on there, but chose to give the spot to my protege, Big Daddy P. I felt it was time for him to make his mark in his home country, and that the experience he would gain there would be beneficial to his long term goals. However, I told him that at a moment's notice, I would be there to watch his back. He went through a rough patch and missed some dates, which led to him taking a leave of absense. That said, he was still keeping an eye on things for his inevitable return. On July 23rd, my phone rang. It was Big Daddy P, informing me that Spaz was leaving OW citing 'no competition' as his excuse for hightailing it out of town. In an attempt to help OW, I donned my old skull mask, and sent messages to the so called 'Misfit'. However, he proved what a yellow bellied douchebag he is and ignored them all."
"From there, P and I began to formulate our plans for how to bring OW back to where it should have always been. This past week at Lord Of The Ring, we put that plan into effect. The Cult Of Destruction was born, and a new era has commenced in Odyssey Wrestling. However, that is another topic for a later time. Back to the topic I brought you here to discuss. AW started up again shortly after, and a war of words and border jumping has been going on ever since. AW guys joining OW, then jumping back to AW because they don't get their way. It's a bunch of childish bullshit and I've fucking had enough! So with that in mind, I am here today to not only discuss the two matches I have coming up, but to FINALLY say my piece on this LUDICROUS behavior. Some of the men and women involved I once had respect for, some I never liked. Either way, they're all on my shit list as of this moment. As far as I'm concerned, they can all take a long walk off of a short pier, because nobody would fucking miss them anyway."
"Spaz, since I already mentioned you earlier, allow me to elaborate. I have hated your fucking guts since the first time I saw you. From day one, you have been nothing more than a pathetic excuse for James Caine and Jeff Jackson. You like to think of yourself as the lunatic, or the 'Misfit' as it were. What you really are is an overhyped, underwhelming sack of SHIT! If I woke up in the morning and realized I were you, I'd fucking kill myself! You are everything that is WRONG with professional wrestling. You've been handed EVERYTHING, and earned NOTHING! You couldn't hack it in Anarchy Wrestling; so to make you feel special, they created an entire championship and 'level' for you to be handed. Of course you needed a patsy to lay down for you, so Mesterio 'Call Me Hayden, Never Mind Call Me Mesterio' Raine was put in there to play dead. I suppose it makes sense, he does a great job at it. Nevertheless, you know as well as I do that you never have, and you never WILL get in the ring with me. Why? Because if you do you'll flop faster than a hand of Texas Hold 'Em."
"Which brings me to my next discussion piece, Mesterio Raine, aka 'I Win Titles On A Technicality' himself. Do you understand that the only reason you won the AW Heavyweight Championship is because I felt sorry for you? If not, now you do. I felt bad that you wanted to live in my shadow so badly you didn't even have one of your own, so I agreed to roll over like you did for Spaz. Do you honestly think if I gave a fuck about that match, that you would've done anything other than get your ass whipped? If you do, then you're even more delusional and insane than everyone thinks you are. Let's be honest here Misty, shall we? Every time you've ever won a match against me, it was because of politics. See you and Spaz, for all of your supposedly 'epic' feuds are actually one and the same. Neither one of you is worth shit between those ropes, so you politic your way to what you want. If that doesn't work, you both proceed to piss and moan until you get it. If THAT fails, then you just flat out run away. Congratulations, you finally have my REAL attention, and it comes in the form of my foot in your ass!"
"Are you folks noticing a trend here yet? I'm dealing with the border jumping, shit talking, should have been mattress stains first. Why? Because they are the primary cause of my hatred of anyone and everyone right now. If they had just done what they were supposed to do, none of this would have needed to happen. What is it they were supposed to do you ask? It's very simple actually. They were supposed to shut the fuck up and wrestle! But no, they just HAD to bury anyone and everyone they could to try pimp themselves out as the best thing going today. Well I'm here to tell them and everyone else that thinks they're king or queen shit to fuck off and die. There is only ONE best wrestler in A-Dub OR O-Dub, and you're looking at him right now! I have been the go to guy in Anarchy Wrestling since the day EWA first opened for god sake! Every time they need that special element on a make or break show, they call me up. Hell, they even got Jon Tees to drag me out of retirement to save their relaunch!"
"Which brings me to the current face of Anarchy Wrestling. Well, I think that technically belongs to someone else, but I'm not sure. At any rate, I'm talking about the Anarchy Wrestling 'World Championship'. Personally, I like to call it the Silver Platter Championship in honor of its first champion, but I digress. Louis Anthony, another wonderful piece of shit. This man just doesn't know when to leave well enough alone does he? Walking around acting like he's actually someone anyone gives a flying fuck about. Congratulations, you hold the paper weight that people who can't win the big one claim IS the big one. But I have to give you some credit, you HAVE held the REAL AW World Championship as well...good for you. That said, I am wondering just what you would do if I decided to MAKE the phony World Title something worth having. Most likely, you'd run to whatever slut you're nailing this week and sob like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. That's fine with me, because I AM coming for your pretend championship. Not because I even really want it, but just because I want to take it from you."
"Some people are probably wondering why I'm not saying anything to any OW people. right? Well it's simple really. The shit talkers involved, or the main ones at least, are the people mentioned above. More specifically, the two border jumpers who couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag if the bag was cut for them. With that in mind, I DO have a message for Odyssey Wrestling. Your single biggest mistake wasn't in trusting people who can't be trusted. It wasn't even in rewarding them with titles and title shots they didn't earn. Your single biggest mistake was letting me into your company. Not because I don't put asses in the seats, because I do it better than anyone else on EITHER roster. The reason it's a mistake is because when I'm done stomping ass in OW, there won't BE a roster! I'm going on a hunt in BOTH companies. One by one, I'm taking out each and every person put in front of me, until you ALL realize who the best wrestler in this war is. It's not Louis Anthony, it's not Tumbler, and it sure as FUCK isn't Spaz or Mesterio Raine. To find the best, look no further than this guy right here."
"In that vein, I have two matches to discuss at this time. I will cover the AW match first, since it's the more biased and lop sided of the two. I have been put into a two on one handicap match against The Tiger Family. I'm not going to lie to you folks. I have NO idea who these twits are, nor do I care to. All I need to know is that they are two assholes standing between me and EITHER version of the AW World Championship. Do you know what that makes them? The two most unlucky people in Anarchy Wrestling. I am going to go out there and prove to the world that I can do alone what two people can't do together...win. There's a up and coming wrestler in the big leagues right now that has a catchphrase I need to borrow. You see, much like that young man, I am going to make a simple request. Feed...me...more. I don't care if it's more in number, or in stature, but give me someone or someones who actually matter to someone please. I've tried really hard to not be this arrogant in the past, but fuck it. I'm the best AW's got, and I know it."
"Tiger Family, prepare for suffering the likes of which you've never imagined. I am going to put you two through the ringer, and quickly. I'm going out to that ring with one goal...total domination. I'm going to do things to you that *I* can't even fathom right now. It will be sick, it will be twisted, but it won't be extreme. In fact, I'm going to use nothing more than my bare hands to do what I intend to do. Barbed wire and fire can be fun, but feeling bones snap and tendons tear in your very hands is why I got in this business. I have waited a long time to get a straight up wrestling match again. Now that I have one, I'm going to remind everyone why I can claim to be the best damn technical wrestler on the planet. Bone by bone, tendon by tendon, I'm going to tear you apart. I am going to leave you laying in a pair of decimated heaps of flesh. Viewers, if you have young children or are weak of heart, don't watch my match this week...you've been warned."
"Now on the Odyssey Wrestling side of things, I am making my official debut. I am in a match against an ACTUAL newcomer to OW, Frost. Wow, that's original. Anyway, I'm not here to nitpick about his name, although I certainly could. I'm here to tell him EXACTLY what is going to happen to him. Did you hear that, Schwarzenegger? That means sit down, shut up, and listen to what I have to say. You are going to receive a very similar fate to the Tiger Family, only you get to have the whole destruction to yourself. Congratulations, you're in even deeper shit than they are, provided that it's in fact possible. As soon as I hear that bell ring, I am going to beat you from pillar to post and back to pillar. I am going to establish myself as the Zeus of Odyssey Wrestling. You are the first step on my path to the OW World Championship. May God have mercy on you, because I can tell you I won't!"
"In closing, let me put it this way. The Cult of Destruction and quite possible The Evolution of Perfection are about to take over professional wrestling. OW has a sickness, The Cult has the cure. AW, Evolution is about to pass you by. So it has been written, so it shall come to pass. Quoth The Killer...nevermore."
