Post by Nero on Sept 5, 2012 15:40:56 GMT -6
"I"ve been trying to sit down to say all of this for awhile... Let it all out and maybe feel better enough to close my eyes at night." Nero stated as she walked away from the tripod she has just set up. She took a seat on a simple wooden barstool in a simple boring concrete room.
The walls were broken with cracks that ran paralell along the floor. It was easy to tell it was a basement but with the only light coming from above Nero it was impossible to tell where we were at.
It would have been too easy to do this in her basement, that could make sense. Why she choose this place for me to drive to I will never know. She said she wasn't comfortable doing it at home. Why not?
Her basement was a fully furnished gym, decorated by Tylor unfortunately. But it was nice and gave us a place to train and work out. Why do it around your opponents when you could do it in the privacy of your own home... Right?
"Who am I kidding? I'm 25... almost 26.. I have seen more things than any one person will ever have to worry about in ten lifetimes... The weight of the sights is not taken lightly on my shoulders. Even as I speak the unthinkable things I've seen... even done... they haunt my waking mind... and that not getting into the nightmares.
They are the kind that make you jump out of bed in a cold sweat. The nights where the darkened hallway feels as if skeleton hands could grab through the abyss of nothing for you... The night where you wish for your parents bed to crawl into, something to protect you... comfort you... yeah... one of those nights."
She closed her eyes as her body betrayed her with a quiver... fear? Or just remembering things long forgotten? "Parents..." Her eyes opened with a glossy film, things long forgotten. Her eyes watered but no tears feel. "Like everyone else... I was born to a man and a woman. Ares and Marie... a godly father and a heavenly mother. A match made in the stars, doomed to stay in the dark.
It's well known.. my mother, if you could call her that.. was an alchohaulic who drank herself to death. She survived the house fire because I pulled her out.. My first sin... I thought about leaving her... Passed out in her recliner... I stood in the doorway while the kitchen roared to life with dancing flames.
Her cigarette burnt to the butt and an empty cheap vodka bottle was laying across her lap with her hand near it... I could have left her there... I SHOULD have left her there... But she was my mother... my birth giver, she carried me for 9 months... But in that moment she gave me something to hate, something to feed my fire... I hated to admit it... but I needed her.
So I went back." She blinked as that smirk crawled across her face.
"Confused yet? My father's name is Ares.. Yet everyone knows my manager, Tylor, as my father. Same man, same coward hidden behind something trivial. It's the typical tragedy... Man meets woman, falls in love, has a baby, leaves family. Baby grows up feeling confused and unwanted, only to find out he's been watching... lurking in the backdrop of my life for the past 20 years!
He even goes as far as to become my manager... Showers me with gifts I never wanted... and how does a girl find this out? Not by her over protective father... no.. she finds out through a psychopath.. a man who destroyed... yet gave her, her life.
And now.. where is the father? He is broken.. laying.. in a hospital bed on the brink of death. He stretched himself to far, too thin and his ignorance caught up with him. The daughter he tried to protect for years... tried to save.. could have saved him. But a lion's pride is as set as a tiger's stripes.
Karma... she's a bitch... and she always pays her dues. Tylor should have paid attention to what he was putting out into the universe." She stretched her arms as both elbows gave a quick 'pop'.
"He tried to protect me frim the very thing I became. I am a Monster."
"We are a Monster."
"That is all thanks to the insane many himself... James Caine. A bastard amongst the living and saint among the Damned." A small chuckle from both of us escaped because we knew if James were still alive he would have loved that thought. He would have even quoted it in his next blockbuster promotion against someone unworthy... You know.. like Mesterio Raine.
"That match was a joke." I'm sure the viewers watching with would be so lost but the people who knew Nero would know I was giving my input.
"He was kinder than he needed to be to worthless talent.."
"He was kind until it came to us."
"That's because he was trying to make something that isn't made." Her attention was back on the camera but her eyes said she was a million miles away. "James Caine tried to make love. Love for a madman... a soulmate, the idea said aloud screams fingerpainting for the insane.
The idea was solid, would have even worked too but he just forgot one thing... Real Love. Real love seems to come in and fuck shit up.
Real Love... The idea of a happily ever after. Even on his mind that was all he wanted. I used to think that exsisted. That one day I would be sitting on a porch swing with the love of my life. We would sway back and forth and watch our kids play carefree in the front yard.
But reality is a cruel misstress, the fairytale doesn't explain what you have to do for that happily ever after. The blood you have to shed for it... The things you do and the people you have to leave behind. The people you have to hurt and the ones that get hurt in the cross fire.
No.. they don't tell you of the torture you live... no wonder we all go mad... We're chasing an idea... just like James did and in the end... when we can't get it... we blow up."
"Some more than others?"
"I would say not to speak ill of the dead-"
"But you don't care."
"No.. I really don't, speak away."
"Nah, you're doing such a fine job on your own. This is your confession." My confession would make the devil blush.
"Thanks." She was being sarcastic, that's Nero though... always sarcastic. "I guess that brings up the reason James failed."
"I would save that one, make it a more poetic ending."
"When have you ever given a damn about poetry?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means your idea of romance is the guy letting you finish first."
"Oh back to this again? Is this because I had to get directions to this dump? because YOUR GPS died?"
"You ASK for directions, you don't flash for them!"
"I was bored and your sex life needs some spice."
"I told you I'm not fucking a complete stranger."
"He wasn't a total stranger. His name was... fuck..."
"My point exactly! Complete stranger!"
"Camera."
"Damnit.. learn to keep them in my shirt." Nero turned back to ther camera with a smile that said sorry. And while reclaiming her cool she went back into love... and how it fucks us all one way or another.
"Love... True Love... people often mistake simple lust for love and mistake love for true love. True love is a tricky bastard. You think you have it but because love is in the title it fucks your world up, turns it upside down and shakes it with a smile.
Suddenly your lost, confused, and alone. You try to recover... you know you should recover, try again... But who really has the energy for that? That is another thing the fairy tales leave out. How exhausting is it to get that happily ever after.
How much of yourself you have to drain to get that porch swing... what's the point? Who wants to finally get there only to be a hallow shell of themseleves?... All of this for True Love...
Which brings me to Vince... before you get a big head and think that for one moment any of this is for you, let me set you straight.
I used to, just like Remmi would use someone. I was drunk and the thought of an empty bed that night was not appealing. Then you showed up, just as depressed as me, perfect timing. So I slept with you. You were something new and shiny and you showed me some attention. It sounds bad but it's the truth.
Happily Ever After never existed with you. It was never even a thought that crossed my mind. You were a drunken rebound, you were Lust. Lust in its simpilest form, Lust that doesn't last, Lust that doesn't turn into Love. It gets boring and as soon as something better comes along it's over.
What we has IS over." She stood up and walked off camera. She reached into her bra and pulled out half a pack of smokes with the lighter shoved inside. Nero walked back to her stool as she pulled out a smoke and the lighter.
Smoking.. that was my fault. She hated cigarettes but I was a bad influence on her and now she grabbed one without even thinking about it. "Nasty habits..." She said said as she took a seat and flashed the lonely stick. Nero lit it and took a long inhale as the smoke crept into her lungs and filled them. With the exhale she cussed me, "fucking Remmi...
My split personality... My little shadow. Someone who's always there... right below the surface... right under my skin.
Remmi is supposed to my yin... or yang... or whatever they want to call her... but what she really is... is me. She's what I could never bring myself to be, she's the monster everyone sees when they look into my eyes.
Two personalities... one head... one body... yet it's possible to feel absolutly alone. I'm the one alone. She's the fearless one, the one who will clean up the messes other people leave behind. She's the one breathing in this body. I died a long time ago... She keeps it running... while I feel alone.
The only time I didn't feel alone was with Louis... My poetic ending... Louis Anthony.
The love of my life, my True Love. The man I saw myself with on that porch swing... but that happily ever after can never happen. My Happily Ever After can't happen... Mine had children running around..." She placed a hand over her stomach and looked down.
"I can't do that... I had my chances.. Autumn, Adrian, and Axcel... They were my chances... they were my children! Apparently I was never meant to be a mother. It just took me to long to figure that out... but my inability to have a child isn't the pint in all of this... my point... my poetic ending...
I've thought about us Louis, our Love. The passion that made... us, us. That Lust that turned to to Love... that Love that turned to True Love... James tried to use you to push me along. To make me ready for his love... to be his love.
And through all of that we found our way back to each other. Time and time again we found each other. I know you love me.. but you will always love James more. So like I said... I've thought about us. That day after the nightclub,the night I found out you were alive, that night you proposed... I've thought about all of them.
Even the bad days Louis, when I was told you were dead... when I saw your lifeless body hanging from that tree... And through everything, through all of the laughter, tears, and surprises...
I will always love you Louis... and I forgive you for our past... but I can never be with you Louis."
A few tears escaped, running down her cheeks as for once she didn't care the world could see. She was in too much pain to care. Vincent Cross was nothing but a bandage to her pain and the bandage wasn't capable of keeping it all inside.
She sat there and cried. Nero left her world behind, she quit AW to escape it, she even created OW... A place she wouldn't have to see him everyday. I'm not even sure it was her best idea. Just like Marie.. AW gave her something to hate... and now... she just forgave the only thing keeping her stable.
In forgiving Louis.. she forgave James. She forgave the things he made her do and the monster he turned her into. I could feel the weight lift off ger shoulders as she cried it away.
She wasn't going to stop crying...
I grabbed the Kris Dagger as the camera started to snow. Small bits of white noise flashed as I was suddenly behind Nero. For the first time I was visable to the world, exposed.
The dagger pierced her flesh as it stabbed into her heart as if it were butter. Nero's head shot up with a look of relief. Her crying expression quickly slimmed to a smile as a small trace of blood trailed down the corner of her mouth and quickly mixed in with the tears.
The camera went from snow to waving static as everyone saw two Neros... one sitting... on standing.
I stood behind Nero with tears in my eyes. I leaned into her ear and said the first two words I ever said to her... "I'm sorry."
I closed my eyes as I felt her life slipping. "But this time... I can end your pain Nero..." and she was gone.
Her body fell forward as I let go of the knife. The last bit of static cleared off to show me gone. Dissapeared into thin air just as quickly as I had appeared. And all that was left was a room absent of life.
Just a camera that caught a girl's last confession and the death of Artemis.
Love is a fickle beast... but when you love something, truely love someone, you will do anything to end their pain...
The walls were broken with cracks that ran paralell along the floor. It was easy to tell it was a basement but with the only light coming from above Nero it was impossible to tell where we were at.
It would have been too easy to do this in her basement, that could make sense. Why she choose this place for me to drive to I will never know. She said she wasn't comfortable doing it at home. Why not?
Her basement was a fully furnished gym, decorated by Tylor unfortunately. But it was nice and gave us a place to train and work out. Why do it around your opponents when you could do it in the privacy of your own home... Right?
"Who am I kidding? I'm 25... almost 26.. I have seen more things than any one person will ever have to worry about in ten lifetimes... The weight of the sights is not taken lightly on my shoulders. Even as I speak the unthinkable things I've seen... even done... they haunt my waking mind... and that not getting into the nightmares.
They are the kind that make you jump out of bed in a cold sweat. The nights where the darkened hallway feels as if skeleton hands could grab through the abyss of nothing for you... The night where you wish for your parents bed to crawl into, something to protect you... comfort you... yeah... one of those nights."
She closed her eyes as her body betrayed her with a quiver... fear? Or just remembering things long forgotten? "Parents..." Her eyes opened with a glossy film, things long forgotten. Her eyes watered but no tears feel. "Like everyone else... I was born to a man and a woman. Ares and Marie... a godly father and a heavenly mother. A match made in the stars, doomed to stay in the dark.
It's well known.. my mother, if you could call her that.. was an alchohaulic who drank herself to death. She survived the house fire because I pulled her out.. My first sin... I thought about leaving her... Passed out in her recliner... I stood in the doorway while the kitchen roared to life with dancing flames.
Her cigarette burnt to the butt and an empty cheap vodka bottle was laying across her lap with her hand near it... I could have left her there... I SHOULD have left her there... But she was my mother... my birth giver, she carried me for 9 months... But in that moment she gave me something to hate, something to feed my fire... I hated to admit it... but I needed her.
So I went back." She blinked as that smirk crawled across her face.
"Confused yet? My father's name is Ares.. Yet everyone knows my manager, Tylor, as my father. Same man, same coward hidden behind something trivial. It's the typical tragedy... Man meets woman, falls in love, has a baby, leaves family. Baby grows up feeling confused and unwanted, only to find out he's been watching... lurking in the backdrop of my life for the past 20 years!
He even goes as far as to become my manager... Showers me with gifts I never wanted... and how does a girl find this out? Not by her over protective father... no.. she finds out through a psychopath.. a man who destroyed... yet gave her, her life.
And now.. where is the father? He is broken.. laying.. in a hospital bed on the brink of death. He stretched himself to far, too thin and his ignorance caught up with him. The daughter he tried to protect for years... tried to save.. could have saved him. But a lion's pride is as set as a tiger's stripes.
Karma... she's a bitch... and she always pays her dues. Tylor should have paid attention to what he was putting out into the universe." She stretched her arms as both elbows gave a quick 'pop'.
"He tried to protect me frim the very thing I became. I am a Monster."
"We are a Monster."
"That is all thanks to the insane many himself... James Caine. A bastard amongst the living and saint among the Damned." A small chuckle from both of us escaped because we knew if James were still alive he would have loved that thought. He would have even quoted it in his next blockbuster promotion against someone unworthy... You know.. like Mesterio Raine.
"That match was a joke." I'm sure the viewers watching with would be so lost but the people who knew Nero would know I was giving my input.
"He was kinder than he needed to be to worthless talent.."
"He was kind until it came to us."
"That's because he was trying to make something that isn't made." Her attention was back on the camera but her eyes said she was a million miles away. "James Caine tried to make love. Love for a madman... a soulmate, the idea said aloud screams fingerpainting for the insane.
The idea was solid, would have even worked too but he just forgot one thing... Real Love. Real love seems to come in and fuck shit up.
Real Love... The idea of a happily ever after. Even on his mind that was all he wanted. I used to think that exsisted. That one day I would be sitting on a porch swing with the love of my life. We would sway back and forth and watch our kids play carefree in the front yard.
But reality is a cruel misstress, the fairytale doesn't explain what you have to do for that happily ever after. The blood you have to shed for it... The things you do and the people you have to leave behind. The people you have to hurt and the ones that get hurt in the cross fire.
No.. they don't tell you of the torture you live... no wonder we all go mad... We're chasing an idea... just like James did and in the end... when we can't get it... we blow up."
"Some more than others?"
"I would say not to speak ill of the dead-"
"But you don't care."
"No.. I really don't, speak away."
"Nah, you're doing such a fine job on your own. This is your confession." My confession would make the devil blush.
"Thanks." She was being sarcastic, that's Nero though... always sarcastic. "I guess that brings up the reason James failed."
"I would save that one, make it a more poetic ending."
"When have you ever given a damn about poetry?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means your idea of romance is the guy letting you finish first."
"Oh back to this again? Is this because I had to get directions to this dump? because YOUR GPS died?"
"You ASK for directions, you don't flash for them!"
"I was bored and your sex life needs some spice."
"I told you I'm not fucking a complete stranger."
"He wasn't a total stranger. His name was... fuck..."
"My point exactly! Complete stranger!"
"Camera."
"Damnit.. learn to keep them in my shirt." Nero turned back to ther camera with a smile that said sorry. And while reclaiming her cool she went back into love... and how it fucks us all one way or another.
"Love... True Love... people often mistake simple lust for love and mistake love for true love. True love is a tricky bastard. You think you have it but because love is in the title it fucks your world up, turns it upside down and shakes it with a smile.
Suddenly your lost, confused, and alone. You try to recover... you know you should recover, try again... But who really has the energy for that? That is another thing the fairy tales leave out. How exhausting is it to get that happily ever after.
How much of yourself you have to drain to get that porch swing... what's the point? Who wants to finally get there only to be a hallow shell of themseleves?... All of this for True Love...
Which brings me to Vince... before you get a big head and think that for one moment any of this is for you, let me set you straight.
I used to, just like Remmi would use someone. I was drunk and the thought of an empty bed that night was not appealing. Then you showed up, just as depressed as me, perfect timing. So I slept with you. You were something new and shiny and you showed me some attention. It sounds bad but it's the truth.
Happily Ever After never existed with you. It was never even a thought that crossed my mind. You were a drunken rebound, you were Lust. Lust in its simpilest form, Lust that doesn't last, Lust that doesn't turn into Love. It gets boring and as soon as something better comes along it's over.
What we has IS over." She stood up and walked off camera. She reached into her bra and pulled out half a pack of smokes with the lighter shoved inside. Nero walked back to her stool as she pulled out a smoke and the lighter.
Smoking.. that was my fault. She hated cigarettes but I was a bad influence on her and now she grabbed one without even thinking about it. "Nasty habits..." She said said as she took a seat and flashed the lonely stick. Nero lit it and took a long inhale as the smoke crept into her lungs and filled them. With the exhale she cussed me, "fucking Remmi...
My split personality... My little shadow. Someone who's always there... right below the surface... right under my skin.
Remmi is supposed to my yin... or yang... or whatever they want to call her... but what she really is... is me. She's what I could never bring myself to be, she's the monster everyone sees when they look into my eyes.
Two personalities... one head... one body... yet it's possible to feel absolutly alone. I'm the one alone. She's the fearless one, the one who will clean up the messes other people leave behind. She's the one breathing in this body. I died a long time ago... She keeps it running... while I feel alone.
The only time I didn't feel alone was with Louis... My poetic ending... Louis Anthony.
The love of my life, my True Love. The man I saw myself with on that porch swing... but that happily ever after can never happen. My Happily Ever After can't happen... Mine had children running around..." She placed a hand over her stomach and looked down.
"I can't do that... I had my chances.. Autumn, Adrian, and Axcel... They were my chances... they were my children! Apparently I was never meant to be a mother. It just took me to long to figure that out... but my inability to have a child isn't the pint in all of this... my point... my poetic ending...
I've thought about us Louis, our Love. The passion that made... us, us. That Lust that turned to to Love... that Love that turned to True Love... James tried to use you to push me along. To make me ready for his love... to be his love.
And through all of that we found our way back to each other. Time and time again we found each other. I know you love me.. but you will always love James more. So like I said... I've thought about us. That day after the nightclub,the night I found out you were alive, that night you proposed... I've thought about all of them.
Even the bad days Louis, when I was told you were dead... when I saw your lifeless body hanging from that tree... And through everything, through all of the laughter, tears, and surprises...
I still love you.
I will always love you Louis... and I forgive you for our past... but I can never be with you Louis."
A few tears escaped, running down her cheeks as for once she didn't care the world could see. She was in too much pain to care. Vincent Cross was nothing but a bandage to her pain and the bandage wasn't capable of keeping it all inside.
She sat there and cried. Nero left her world behind, she quit AW to escape it, she even created OW... A place she wouldn't have to see him everyday. I'm not even sure it was her best idea. Just like Marie.. AW gave her something to hate... and now... she just forgave the only thing keeping her stable.
In forgiving Louis.. she forgave James. She forgave the things he made her do and the monster he turned her into. I could feel the weight lift off ger shoulders as she cried it away.
She wasn't going to stop crying...
I grabbed the Kris Dagger as the camera started to snow. Small bits of white noise flashed as I was suddenly behind Nero. For the first time I was visable to the world, exposed.
The dagger pierced her flesh as it stabbed into her heart as if it were butter. Nero's head shot up with a look of relief. Her crying expression quickly slimmed to a smile as a small trace of blood trailed down the corner of her mouth and quickly mixed in with the tears.
The camera went from snow to waving static as everyone saw two Neros... one sitting... on standing.
I stood behind Nero with tears in my eyes. I leaned into her ear and said the first two words I ever said to her... "I'm sorry."
I closed my eyes as I felt her life slipping. "But this time... I can end your pain Nero..." and she was gone.
Her body fell forward as I let go of the knife. The last bit of static cleared off to show me gone. Dissapeared into thin air just as quickly as I had appeared. And all that was left was a room absent of life.
Just a camera that caught a girl's last confession and the death of Artemis.
Love is a fickle beast... but when you love something, truely love someone, you will do anything to end their pain...
"Anything."
