Post by The Cult Of Destruction on May 17, 2012 1:50:36 GMT -6
What the hell am I doing here? I spent about two months in UCWA Unleashed, and had a decent run for a newcomer. Didn't last long enough to win anything in the way of titles, but I won a few key matches and furthered myself through experience. Then I got the call from my mentor, my hero, and my friend. He called me up and told me that he had received an offer to go over to Japan for a six month tour, but didn't take it for two reasons. One, he was just starting up his own organization and couldn't be away for that long, which I understood. However, the second reason floored me. He told them about me and how he'd trained me and admired my work ethic, and thought that I could use the experience. The promoter was hesitant at first, but when he heard that I was a six foot six, three hundred and fifty pounder who could fly? Suddenly he was more intrigued, and off I went. From day one over there, people worshiped me. Being an outsider and not an established name, I thought they would be cold to me for a while.
However, as soon as I pulled out my first aerial assault in my debut match, they fell in love with me. I guess being such die hard wrestling fans as they are over there, seeing someone who could do everything they wanted to see was something to love. Not to toot my own horn, but I can understand that logic. That is what my trainer was like for me when I watched him for the first time. Seeing him do the things that he did, as only he could do them? It was truly a magical experience for me. But to get back on topic, what the hell am I doing here? Those six months just ran out, and I got offered a VERY respectable amount of money for another tour, this time for a year. Just as I was about to sign and fax off the contract, my phone rang. I picked it up, and it was my mentor. He said that he knew how well I was doing, but that he wanted me to at least consider an option State side. For some reason, even though I loved it over there, I signed with the American company. That's where THIS chapter begins.
Coming Home...
We join our rather large friend at a press conference on this fine spring day. In fact, the day is so beautiful that the event is being held outdoors, and it's being hosted by your good friends at Odyssey Wrestling. Our official host is yours truly, who you will hear from soon enough. With that in mind, I believe it's time for me to turn it over to...well...me! Ain't I great?
Hello everyone, and welcome to the biggest press conference to ever grace professional wrestling. I am your host, The Doctor, and I would like to welcome all of you here for this historic event. What you are about to witness is something that will be talked about for years to come. It is going to be the highlight of everything professional wrestling related for weeks after today. In fact, it may very well be the single biggest moment in the HISTORY of our great sport. Ladies and gentlemen, the biggest foreign superstar in Japanese wrestling has returned home to North America to compete. Not only that, he is going to be doing it right here in Odyssey Wrestling! Ladies and gentlemen, without much further a due. He is the six foot six, three hundred and fifty pound behemoth who became Japanese World Champion in less than six months. He took the Japanese wrestling markets to new heights with his overwhelming power and shocking agility. He is the one, the only, The Mad Hatter of Wrestling...BIG...DADDY...P!
The opening riff to City And Colour's powerful song "Coming Home" plays over the speaker system, and those in attendance wait in anticipation. At the nineteen second mark, the lyrics begin to play.
"Well I've been down to Georgia, I've seen the streets in the West. I've driven down the 90, well hell I've seen America's best. I've been through the Rockies, well I've seen Saskatoon. I've driven down the highway 1, just hoping that I'd see you soon."
As the song continues playing, the man of the hour finally makes his way onto the stage, a sombre look on his face. He makes his way to the podium, awaits quiet, and speaks once he gets it.
Hello one and all, and welcome to this long overdue event. You see, I'm not going to wait any longer to say what I need to say. I find it a little hypocritical of the people who run this place to have done what they've done to me recently. For those who don't know, they fined me for failing to promote my first match. That would be fine, if it weren't for the fact that I called them and told them I wouldn't be able to meet those obligations, as I was recovering from jet lag and trying to train for said first match at the same time. As you can imagine, it's difficult enough to do one or the other, let alone both. This becomes even MORE difficult when you weigh three hundred and fifty pounds. Thus, I requested exemption for that first set of promotional work, and was told it was no problem. That's why this press conference was postponed, for those who had been wondering. So, to say that I was surprised by what occurred come show time would be an understatement.
Basically, I was lied to and screwed around my first show with this company. Yeah, THIS looks like a great place to work! I'm starting to wonder why the hell I ever left Japan to come back to this kind of garbage. It happened in my first North American company, and it's starting in a hurry here too. "It" being the bullshitting, politicking garbage that seems to be running rampant in North American wrestling these days. It's not about who is the most talented, or even who can draw the most money. It's all about who the bosses like best, or hate most but have heard of. Just because you people don't follow Japanese wrestling, doesn't mean you should be holding back a future Hall of Famer. Now listen, I'm not usually the most boastful guy in town, but this is pretty ridiculous. I had a HELL of a nice deal lined up for me in Japan, where I was treated like a damn GOD, no pun intended to the concept of this place. I gave up a hefty salary and the worship of MILLIONS of Japanese wrestling fans to come and work for you.
To me, that shows that I'm dedicated to this place. If I weren't, why wouldn't I have just stayed where I was? It certainly wasn't a money issue, since I was being paid great over there. It wasn't an issue of not being noticed, because everyone over there loves me. It wasn't a matter of no loyalty to them, because I have nothing but love and cherished memories for those great promoters and fans. So what's left for a reason? Nothing other than wanting to help Odyssey Wrestling thrive. Unfortunately, Odyssey Wrestling wants to pick up right where the place they trash talk so much left off. Where is that you ask? Simple, with the same core group of overhyped, underachieving, can't wrestle worth a damn so they have to bludgeon each other half to death to get a reaction piles of shit! I love how Odyssey Wresting was supposedly built on being everything that place wasn't, yet it's EXACTLY the same! The only difference for me and those close to me is the person being screwed over.
With "the company that shall not be named" as I've been asked to refer to it, it was my mentor who was mistreated. With Odyssey Wrestling it's me personally. However, everything else looks and smells the same. For those who may not have gotten the underlying message there, here is the old adage I took it from. If it LOOKS like shit, and it SMELLS like shit, chances are it's shit! It's pretty pathetic that after being with this company for one show...ONE...SHOW, I'm already regretting my decision to be here. I came here because my mentor thought that I could make a difference. He thought that I could come in here and be everything that that other place never allowed him to be. He thought that under new management, the same faces wouldn't be handed everything like they had been before. Hell, I thought so too. Boy were WE wrong! Everything is unfolding the same way it did with him back then. The greatest asset the company had, or in this case has, being relegated to mid card status at best. Why? Well for those who just tuned in or who are hard of hearing, here it is again.
It's called favoritism ladies and gentlemen. Plain, simple, undeniable favoritism! The people who kiss the most ass get the best spots, that's how Western society works. If you're not brown nosing your way to the top, then you have to be the world's biggest prick to get ahead. Well I like to be a prick now and then, but it's not something I'm willing to do all the time. I'm not willing to kidnap people to get my name on the map. I'm not willing to smash light tubes on someone because that's all I know how to do. I'm CERTAINLY not willing to claim to be an Icon just to leech a little recognition from the TRUE icons of our business. I don't bring felonies, circus sideshows, or false vibrato to you folks out there. What I bring to the table is pure, undeniable, unrelenting passion. What I bring is hours upon hours of hard work and dedication to this great sport. What I bring is quite simple really...legitimacy. I'm not talking about flaming tables or barbed wire bats. Sure, the blood and burns are legitimate, but that's not wrestling.
What I'm talking about bringing you is what is written on the marquee...professional wrestling. I have honed my skills for the past year, going to the best trainers in the world. Not only in standard pro wrestling, but in martial arts as well. I have put together a combination of power and freakish agility that no one else can offer you. This is not mere trash talk or tooting my own horn, it's a matter of fact. Go ask my Jujitsu masters, or my Karate teachers. Better still, go ask the guy who inspired me to do this for a living. Now those of you who know who he is will call me a hypocrite. How can I say I'm against hardcore "wrestling", and I use that term loosely, then say a hardcore legend inspired me to wrestle? Easy, a difference of opinion. He knows me and I know him. When it comes to the extreme stuff, we agree to disagree. I went to him for training and inspiration to compete because of what I know he can do when given a break from what YOU know him for.
Unlike many of you, I study wrestling from all over the world, new and old. I saw the classic matches that he was able to put on in companies that shared MY belief about this business. Now, I'm not so old fashioned as to say a gruesome blood bath to solve a personal and heated rivalry isn't in order. Hell, I'm even new age enough to agree that in such a case, the sharpies and fire are welcomed. However, what I AM saying is that having it in every other match is ludicrous. I'll give you an example. If my mentor and I weren't getting along, and I mean REALLY not getting along, we'd settle it in the ring. If that didn't settle it, we'd fight again. If that STILL didn't work, then sure, throw us in a cage. If THAT isn't enough, THEN you gives all the sharpies and fire we can handle. Why? Because if a steel cage match can't settle or dispute, then it really is time to let us go out there and destroy each other. If that's the only way to TRULY settle something, then absolutely do it.
However, that isn't what most wrestling companies want to do anymore, is it? Not only do they want to HAVE that new level of over the top violence, that's ALL they want to have. Well just because I don't LIKE those things, doesn't mean I'm AFRAID of them either. OW, I'm putting you all on notice right now. Bring whatever you want to bring to the table. If you're a fire person? Try and light me up, I fucking dare you! If sharpies are your poison, pour them all over the ring, but I guarantee you'll wish you hadn't. If God forbid you can actually WRESTLE? Well, in a match with me that may well be the MOST dangerous specialty. In a straight up match, there are all of MAYBE a dozen people I'd be concerned with, not ONE of which works for this company. I don't give a shit if you're big, small, male or female, I WILL run through you if you let yourself get put in front of me. Speaking of that, I suppose this is the part where I am expected to talk about my opposition for the week, right? Alright then, here it is. In fact, I'll even do it in the style that most of the people who work here like to do it.
Vigilante, you're poopy. That's right, I went there! You're poopy, I'm a Toughy Tougherson, therefore I win. Sorry, you can't beat me Vig, I have five year old insults on my side. Oh, and go back and listen to the rest of this piece. I made sure to swear a lot so that I could fit in with all the cool kids. So there you have it Vig, the unstoppable force of grade school mudslinging and cursing for the sake of cursing. How can you POSSIBLY beat me now, huh? That's right, you can't, because you're still poopy and I'm still not.
On that incredibly eloquent note, thank you for coming this morning and have a nice day.
-Fin-
However, as soon as I pulled out my first aerial assault in my debut match, they fell in love with me. I guess being such die hard wrestling fans as they are over there, seeing someone who could do everything they wanted to see was something to love. Not to toot my own horn, but I can understand that logic. That is what my trainer was like for me when I watched him for the first time. Seeing him do the things that he did, as only he could do them? It was truly a magical experience for me. But to get back on topic, what the hell am I doing here? Those six months just ran out, and I got offered a VERY respectable amount of money for another tour, this time for a year. Just as I was about to sign and fax off the contract, my phone rang. I picked it up, and it was my mentor. He said that he knew how well I was doing, but that he wanted me to at least consider an option State side. For some reason, even though I loved it over there, I signed with the American company. That's where THIS chapter begins.
Coming Home...
We join our rather large friend at a press conference on this fine spring day. In fact, the day is so beautiful that the event is being held outdoors, and it's being hosted by your good friends at Odyssey Wrestling. Our official host is yours truly, who you will hear from soon enough. With that in mind, I believe it's time for me to turn it over to...well...me! Ain't I great?
Hello everyone, and welcome to the biggest press conference to ever grace professional wrestling. I am your host, The Doctor, and I would like to welcome all of you here for this historic event. What you are about to witness is something that will be talked about for years to come. It is going to be the highlight of everything professional wrestling related for weeks after today. In fact, it may very well be the single biggest moment in the HISTORY of our great sport. Ladies and gentlemen, the biggest foreign superstar in Japanese wrestling has returned home to North America to compete. Not only that, he is going to be doing it right here in Odyssey Wrestling! Ladies and gentlemen, without much further a due. He is the six foot six, three hundred and fifty pound behemoth who became Japanese World Champion in less than six months. He took the Japanese wrestling markets to new heights with his overwhelming power and shocking agility. He is the one, the only, The Mad Hatter of Wrestling...BIG...DADDY...P!
The opening riff to City And Colour's powerful song "Coming Home" plays over the speaker system, and those in attendance wait in anticipation. At the nineteen second mark, the lyrics begin to play.
"Well I've been down to Georgia, I've seen the streets in the West. I've driven down the 90, well hell I've seen America's best. I've been through the Rockies, well I've seen Saskatoon. I've driven down the highway 1, just hoping that I'd see you soon."
As the song continues playing, the man of the hour finally makes his way onto the stage, a sombre look on his face. He makes his way to the podium, awaits quiet, and speaks once he gets it.
Hello one and all, and welcome to this long overdue event. You see, I'm not going to wait any longer to say what I need to say. I find it a little hypocritical of the people who run this place to have done what they've done to me recently. For those who don't know, they fined me for failing to promote my first match. That would be fine, if it weren't for the fact that I called them and told them I wouldn't be able to meet those obligations, as I was recovering from jet lag and trying to train for said first match at the same time. As you can imagine, it's difficult enough to do one or the other, let alone both. This becomes even MORE difficult when you weigh three hundred and fifty pounds. Thus, I requested exemption for that first set of promotional work, and was told it was no problem. That's why this press conference was postponed, for those who had been wondering. So, to say that I was surprised by what occurred come show time would be an understatement.
Basically, I was lied to and screwed around my first show with this company. Yeah, THIS looks like a great place to work! I'm starting to wonder why the hell I ever left Japan to come back to this kind of garbage. It happened in my first North American company, and it's starting in a hurry here too. "It" being the bullshitting, politicking garbage that seems to be running rampant in North American wrestling these days. It's not about who is the most talented, or even who can draw the most money. It's all about who the bosses like best, or hate most but have heard of. Just because you people don't follow Japanese wrestling, doesn't mean you should be holding back a future Hall of Famer. Now listen, I'm not usually the most boastful guy in town, but this is pretty ridiculous. I had a HELL of a nice deal lined up for me in Japan, where I was treated like a damn GOD, no pun intended to the concept of this place. I gave up a hefty salary and the worship of MILLIONS of Japanese wrestling fans to come and work for you.
To me, that shows that I'm dedicated to this place. If I weren't, why wouldn't I have just stayed where I was? It certainly wasn't a money issue, since I was being paid great over there. It wasn't an issue of not being noticed, because everyone over there loves me. It wasn't a matter of no loyalty to them, because I have nothing but love and cherished memories for those great promoters and fans. So what's left for a reason? Nothing other than wanting to help Odyssey Wrestling thrive. Unfortunately, Odyssey Wrestling wants to pick up right where the place they trash talk so much left off. Where is that you ask? Simple, with the same core group of overhyped, underachieving, can't wrestle worth a damn so they have to bludgeon each other half to death to get a reaction piles of shit! I love how Odyssey Wresting was supposedly built on being everything that place wasn't, yet it's EXACTLY the same! The only difference for me and those close to me is the person being screwed over.
With "the company that shall not be named" as I've been asked to refer to it, it was my mentor who was mistreated. With Odyssey Wrestling it's me personally. However, everything else looks and smells the same. For those who may not have gotten the underlying message there, here is the old adage I took it from. If it LOOKS like shit, and it SMELLS like shit, chances are it's shit! It's pretty pathetic that after being with this company for one show...ONE...SHOW, I'm already regretting my decision to be here. I came here because my mentor thought that I could make a difference. He thought that I could come in here and be everything that that other place never allowed him to be. He thought that under new management, the same faces wouldn't be handed everything like they had been before. Hell, I thought so too. Boy were WE wrong! Everything is unfolding the same way it did with him back then. The greatest asset the company had, or in this case has, being relegated to mid card status at best. Why? Well for those who just tuned in or who are hard of hearing, here it is again.
It's called favoritism ladies and gentlemen. Plain, simple, undeniable favoritism! The people who kiss the most ass get the best spots, that's how Western society works. If you're not brown nosing your way to the top, then you have to be the world's biggest prick to get ahead. Well I like to be a prick now and then, but it's not something I'm willing to do all the time. I'm not willing to kidnap people to get my name on the map. I'm not willing to smash light tubes on someone because that's all I know how to do. I'm CERTAINLY not willing to claim to be an Icon just to leech a little recognition from the TRUE icons of our business. I don't bring felonies, circus sideshows, or false vibrato to you folks out there. What I bring to the table is pure, undeniable, unrelenting passion. What I bring is hours upon hours of hard work and dedication to this great sport. What I bring is quite simple really...legitimacy. I'm not talking about flaming tables or barbed wire bats. Sure, the blood and burns are legitimate, but that's not wrestling.
What I'm talking about bringing you is what is written on the marquee...professional wrestling. I have honed my skills for the past year, going to the best trainers in the world. Not only in standard pro wrestling, but in martial arts as well. I have put together a combination of power and freakish agility that no one else can offer you. This is not mere trash talk or tooting my own horn, it's a matter of fact. Go ask my Jujitsu masters, or my Karate teachers. Better still, go ask the guy who inspired me to do this for a living. Now those of you who know who he is will call me a hypocrite. How can I say I'm against hardcore "wrestling", and I use that term loosely, then say a hardcore legend inspired me to wrestle? Easy, a difference of opinion. He knows me and I know him. When it comes to the extreme stuff, we agree to disagree. I went to him for training and inspiration to compete because of what I know he can do when given a break from what YOU know him for.
Unlike many of you, I study wrestling from all over the world, new and old. I saw the classic matches that he was able to put on in companies that shared MY belief about this business. Now, I'm not so old fashioned as to say a gruesome blood bath to solve a personal and heated rivalry isn't in order. Hell, I'm even new age enough to agree that in such a case, the sharpies and fire are welcomed. However, what I AM saying is that having it in every other match is ludicrous. I'll give you an example. If my mentor and I weren't getting along, and I mean REALLY not getting along, we'd settle it in the ring. If that didn't settle it, we'd fight again. If that STILL didn't work, then sure, throw us in a cage. If THAT isn't enough, THEN you gives all the sharpies and fire we can handle. Why? Because if a steel cage match can't settle or dispute, then it really is time to let us go out there and destroy each other. If that's the only way to TRULY settle something, then absolutely do it.
However, that isn't what most wrestling companies want to do anymore, is it? Not only do they want to HAVE that new level of over the top violence, that's ALL they want to have. Well just because I don't LIKE those things, doesn't mean I'm AFRAID of them either. OW, I'm putting you all on notice right now. Bring whatever you want to bring to the table. If you're a fire person? Try and light me up, I fucking dare you! If sharpies are your poison, pour them all over the ring, but I guarantee you'll wish you hadn't. If God forbid you can actually WRESTLE? Well, in a match with me that may well be the MOST dangerous specialty. In a straight up match, there are all of MAYBE a dozen people I'd be concerned with, not ONE of which works for this company. I don't give a shit if you're big, small, male or female, I WILL run through you if you let yourself get put in front of me. Speaking of that, I suppose this is the part where I am expected to talk about my opposition for the week, right? Alright then, here it is. In fact, I'll even do it in the style that most of the people who work here like to do it.
Vigilante, you're poopy. That's right, I went there! You're poopy, I'm a Toughy Tougherson, therefore I win. Sorry, you can't beat me Vig, I have five year old insults on my side. Oh, and go back and listen to the rest of this piece. I made sure to swear a lot so that I could fit in with all the cool kids. So there you have it Vig, the unstoppable force of grade school mudslinging and cursing for the sake of cursing. How can you POSSIBLY beat me now, huh? That's right, you can't, because you're still poopy and I'm still not.
On that incredibly eloquent note, thank you for coming this morning and have a nice day.
-Fin-
